#RogueTripPlaylette - 13.11.2014

INT. A BAR IN HANOI, VIETNAM - AFTERNOON

(BILL - American, mid-40s, clean-shaven, thoughtful - sits at the bar chatting with the BAR ASSISTANT MANAGER - Vietnamese woman, mid-30s?, bangs, competent. Bill occasionally glances at the BARTENDER - Vietnamese man, er, boy, early 20s, faux-hawk, tattooed sleeve, dim - who sits at the end of the bar staring at his phone. In his week in Hanoi, Bill has been to this bar three times, and chatted with the Bar Manager each time. On this visit, Bill is playing the game, “How Long Before the Goddamned Bartender Notices My Glass Is Empty and Asks If I Want Another Beer?” in his head: five minutes and counting. Mid-conversation-)

BAR ASST. MANAGER: (accented English) What time did you wake up this morning?
BILL: I dunno. Ten?
BAR ASST. MANAGER: (mock angry) I awoke at eight, and I was here until three this morning.
BILL: Well, I don’t have a job.
BAR ASST. MANAGER: You need a job.

(The bar asst. manager notices Bill’s empty glass, and snaps her fingers at the bartender, chattering at him in angry Vietnamese. The bartender finally notices Bill’s empty glass. As he goes to pour a fresh draught, the bar asst. manager puts her face in her hands, shaking her head.)

BILL: Don’t worry about it.

(The bartender puts the new draught in front of Bill. Bill and the bar asst. manager look at the glass. Pause.)

BILL: (re: bartender) Is he proposing to me?

(The bar asst. manager again chatters in angry Vietnamese until the bartender notices, at the bottom of the full glass, the o-ring from the keg nozzle resting in the beer. The bartender takes the glass and actually tries to pull the o-ring out with his finger. More angry Vietnamese chattering. The bartender pours out the beer. He replaces the o-ring on the nozzle as the bar asst. manager again puts her face in her hands. As the bartender replaces the beer -no o-ring this time - she harangues him in Vietnamese until finally-)

BARTENDER: (broken English) I am very sorry.
BILL: Don’t worry about it. No problem. Seriously. I was kidding. No problem.

(The bartender, unaffected, goes and sits back down, taking out his phone.)

BAR ASST. MANAGER: I am sorry. He is new.
BILL: Seriously, don’t sweat it. Accidents happen.
BAR ASST. MANAGER: (scoffing) “Accidents.”
BILL: (joking) Maybe I should work HERE. Replace him.
BAR ASST. MANAGER: (not joking) Yes. Come work here.
BILL: I was kidding.
BAR ASST. MANAGER: No, no. Work here.
BILL: (hoping this will put an end to it) I don’t think you could pay me enough.
BAR ASST. MANAGER: (calculating) $1000 per month.
BILL: American dollars? (she nods) That’s not enough to live on.
BAR ASST. MANAGER: That’s plenty. Everything cheap here. Food, rent…
BILL: Yeah. I can imagine that phone call with my mother. “Mom, I’ve decided to become a bartender in Hanoi.”
BAR ASST. MANAGER: (re: bartender) Better than him.
BILL: Well, yeah.
BAR ASST. MANAGER: Call your mother. (thinks) You live with me. (laughs) I charge cheap rent.
BILL: Yeah…I don’t see that making the phone call any easier.