"All the time I'm not writing I feel like a criminal." -Fran Lebowitz

Monday, July 29, 2013

T-60 DAYS & COUNTING - a Presidential Suite Update

Just a little update on how the World Premiere Production of Presidential Suite is going; I’ll try to post something at least once a week. On Saturday, we held the first cast table read of the script and if I may say, it went well enough and I had enough fun watching it that I’ve been able to stuff my self-loathing deep inside me for the time being (it’ll be back. Oh, oh, oh, yes! -pause- It will be back.) The entire cast was on hand for introductions to each other and to David, Matthew, and me, and the biggest issue all afternoon were those pesky parking meters on Lankershim Boulevard. An hour limit on Saturdays? That's crap.

Now, watching a cast read words that you’ve (a collective you’ve, in this instance) written can be a harrowing experience. I’ve figured out that the equation is:

[(X)*moments of genuine joy]/
[[(Y)*moments of horrible, horrible shame] +
(standard derivation of my own self-loathing)]*

*When dealing with an original play, take the quotient and square that sucker.

...And I can't speak for my co-writers, but it often times reduces me to a fraction of your normal self, a wee decimal point stuck between your confidence and your positive attitude. But Saturday seemed to go well: actual laughs (plural) from the cast, nobody fell asleep, and no one has texted me long after I’ve gone to sleep begging out of the production. I may or may not have changed my number.

Thus, a measured success.

I had more fun on Saturday than I’ve had in a long, long time. So, I'll amend that. A success.

So thanks to the cast, to David, and to Matthew, for that. Speaking of the cast, I'm already convinced they're going to make this play the best it can be. We rounded up a bunch of talented talents, funny funnies, amassed ourselves a nice little set of baseball cards that are gonna look nice in two months.

Now, onto all the work that has to be done. Gotta figure out the set, gotta start work on the costumes. Gotta check in with the space...Uh-oh, the self-loathing. I feel it bubbling up....

Thursday, July 25, 2013


Matthew and I hope the summer finds you well and not yet melted into a pool of DNA drippings. We wanted to give you an update on the status of the World Premiere Production of Presidential Suite. Things have begun to move forward in earnest. In addition to setting the WHEN - we open Friday, September 27th and run Friday/Saturday/Sunday(matinee) through Sunday, October 27th - and the WHERE (the Whitmore at the Whitmore-Lindley in North Hollywood), we have now latched upon the WHO.

That’s right, we’ve finally “casted up”. After holding a round of auditions and a round of call-backs, and determining the best analogy to casting a show is - running around a schoolyard, trying to collect the perfect set of baseball cards as they blow across the asphalt during a brisk wind -

“(picks up card) No, this Tony Gwynn’s not mine...(trots, picks up card) Nah, I’ve already got a Tom Seaver...Ooh, is that a Greg Maddux?...(runs, picks up card) Nope...(runs, scrapes fingernails on asphalt). We can’t use anyone on steroids...Sigh, this Robin Yount can’t do half the postseason...”

-we now have a full cast for Presidential Suite. Continuing the analogy, it’s a great set of cards we’re putting in plastic, closing up in our Trapper Keeper binder, and we’re not letting that jerkface Mikey Wyatt get his grubby fingers anywhere near it. We believe we’ve got a terrific cast that’s going to make this show something special. Confirmation of how great we are at casting will begin this Saturday night, when the cast meets to conduct the first table read of the script.

So we’ve got the what, the who, the when, and the where. We’ll update you more as the production continues, as we built up the HOW. But let us now thank you again for all your support, monetarily and otherwise, towards helping get Presidential Suite up off the ground and speeding forward towards the end of September and its World Premiere.

Check out our Facebook page and feel free to email us with any questions you may have about how things are progressing. But we’ll talk again soon.


PS: Matthew, here. Although I dabbled in baseball card trading as a youth, it was never really my thing.  I probably would have described the casting process as herding feral cats.  See, I made it my own by adding "feral" and making it about cats.  That's why Bill and I work so well together.  Different interests but shared sensibilities. That said, I couldn't be more thrilled with our cast and full of excitement about mounting this production.Thanks again for your support and I look forward to seeing you at the theatre.

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Beach Reading Special - Get The Vanilla Gigolo Prescription ebook Free...

...for the next five days (starting Friday, July 19th), I'll be offering The Vanilla Gigolo Prescription ebook for Amazon Kindle free. Free is good. Free is nice. Free, it's even fun to say.

Say it with me: "Free."

If you own a Kindle and have an Amazon Prime Membership, go to and borrow The Vanilla Gigolo Prescription for free - I can't stop saying it - your free copy.

For all others, the cost of an ebook copy of The Vanilla Gigolo Prescription has been lowered to $1.99. Not free, but not bad either:

However you download the novel, after you read it, I would appreciate it if you posted an honest review, and spread the word to all you know.

Free. Free. Free.