continues in Barcelona, Spain. A tragicomedy in three actlettes:
ACT I - MUSEU PICASSO, BARCELONA, SPAIN - AFTERNOON
(Bill waits on the line to purchase a ticket. He scans the board listing the prices, and notices something.)
BILL: (shrugs; to himself) Huh. Worth a try. Why not?
(Bill is motioned to the counter by a MUSEUM EMPLOYEE. Note: for the following exchange, Bill’s Spanish and the employee’s English are respectively stammer-y.)
BILL: Olá.
MUSEUM EMPLOYEE: Olá.
BILL: Yo habla español un poquito.
MUSEUM EMPLOYEE: I speak English.
BILL: Oh, good. Gracias.
MUSEUM EMPLOYEE: It is okay.
BILL: Okay. Um, one adult, reduced price.
MUSUEM EMPLOYEE: Why “reduced”?
BILL: (too proudly?) I am unemployed.
MUSEUM EMPLOYEE: You are unemployed?
BILL: (less proudly) Si.
(Pause. The museum employee looks around.)
MUSEUM EMPLOYEE: (shakes head) We do not reduce the price simply because one is unemployed.
BILL: (points at sign) Yes, you do.
MUSEUM EMPLOYEE: We do not, sir.
BILL: Your sign says you do. (reading) “Under 25, unemployed…” It’s the second one.
MUSEUM EMPLOYEE: We do not, sir.
BILL: (joking) Look, it took a lot of courage for me to walk up here and admit- (seeing he’s getting nowhere) Your sign says it.
MUSEUM EMPLOYEE: I will check, sir.
(The museum employee goes over to another EMPLOYEE, and confers with her. She looks at Bill, scowls, and shakes her head. The museum employee returns to Bill.)
MUSEUM EMPLOYEE: No, sir.
BILL: You should change the sign, then.
MUSUEM EMPLOYEE: No one else has ever had the courage, sir.
BILL: (taking out wallet) Yeah…
ACT II - MUSEU PICASSO GIFT SHOP, BARCELONA, SPAIN - LATER
(Bill is poking around the postcard section. He notices something. He thinks, then approaches a MUSEUM EMPLOYEE, who is restocking the card section.)
BILL: Olá.
MUSEUM EMPLOYEE: Olá.
BILL: Yo habla español un poquito.
MUSEUM EMPLOYEE: I speak English.
BILL: Oh, good. Gracias.
MUSUEM EMPLOYEE: It is good of you to try.
BILL. Gracias. Um, “Guerica”.
MUSUEM EMPLOYEE: Yes.
BILL: (indicating postcard) You have postcards of “Guernice”.
MUSEUM EMPLOYEE: Of course, it is Picasso’s most famous, perhaps.
BILL: (pause) Yeah, but.
MUSEUM EMPLOYEE: Yes?
BILL: It’s not here, is it?
MUSEUM EMPLOYEE: Here?
BILL: Here, in this museum. I mean, I didn’t just walk through the whole museum and miss “Guernica”, did I?
MUSUEM EMPLOYEE: (a bit confused) No, sir. It is in Madrid.
BILL: Ah, good. I’m going there tomorrow.
MUSEUM EMPLOYEE: You can see it there, then.
BILL: Good. I just wanted to make sure, since you have the postcard, that I didn’t miss it.
MUSEUM EMPLOYEE: No, sir.
BILL: Do a lot of people worry that they’ve walked right by it?
MUSUEM EMPLOYEE: No, sir.
ACT THREE - MUSEU DIOCESA, BARCELONA, SPAIN - LATER
(Bill enters the lobby, holding a hot chocolate. He pays the MUSUEM EMPLOYEE an entrance fee, and she immediately starts pointing at his cup.)
BILL: I know, I know. (He takes a large sip.) Where can I throw it out?
MUSEUM EMPLOYEE: Que? Huh?
BILL: Garbage? Basura?
MUSUEM EMPLOYEE: (shakes her head) No.
BILL: What, then?
(The museum employee ducks down, searching for something. She emerges with a tag, used to hold bags behind the counter.
BILL: What? Really?
(The museum employee nods, giving Bill a ticket, then wrapping the matching ticket around the cup with a rubber band. The ticket # is 13. She puts the cup of hot chocolate in a locker and closes the door. She looks at Bill, then waves the back of both hands at him, as if to say, “Go. Go.”)
BILL: Okay, I’m going. I’m going. (to himself) This is my last museum of the day.
(Bill waits on the line to purchase a ticket. He scans the board listing the prices, and notices something.)
BILL: (shrugs; to himself) Huh. Worth a try. Why not?
(Bill is motioned to the counter by a MUSEUM EMPLOYEE. Note: for the following exchange, Bill’s Spanish and the employee’s English are respectively stammer-y.)
BILL: Olá.
MUSEUM EMPLOYEE: Olá.
BILL: Yo habla español un poquito.
MUSEUM EMPLOYEE: I speak English.
BILL: Oh, good. Gracias.
MUSEUM EMPLOYEE: It is okay.
BILL: Okay. Um, one adult, reduced price.
MUSUEM EMPLOYEE: Why “reduced”?
BILL: (too proudly?) I am unemployed.
MUSEUM EMPLOYEE: You are unemployed?
BILL: (less proudly) Si.
(Pause. The museum employee looks around.)
MUSEUM EMPLOYEE: (shakes head) We do not reduce the price simply because one is unemployed.
BILL: (points at sign) Yes, you do.
MUSEUM EMPLOYEE: We do not, sir.
BILL: Your sign says you do. (reading) “Under 25, unemployed…” It’s the second one.
MUSEUM EMPLOYEE: We do not, sir.
BILL: (joking) Look, it took a lot of courage for me to walk up here and admit- (seeing he’s getting nowhere) Your sign says it.
MUSEUM EMPLOYEE: I will check, sir.
(The museum employee goes over to another EMPLOYEE, and confers with her. She looks at Bill, scowls, and shakes her head. The museum employee returns to Bill.)
MUSEUM EMPLOYEE: No, sir.
BILL: You should change the sign, then.
MUSUEM EMPLOYEE: No one else has ever had the courage, sir.
BILL: (taking out wallet) Yeah…
(Bill is poking around the postcard section. He notices something. He thinks, then approaches a MUSEUM EMPLOYEE, who is restocking the card section.)
BILL: Olá.
MUSEUM EMPLOYEE: Olá.
BILL: Yo habla español un poquito.
MUSEUM EMPLOYEE: I speak English.
BILL: Oh, good. Gracias.
MUSUEM EMPLOYEE: It is good of you to try.
BILL. Gracias. Um, “Guerica”.
MUSUEM EMPLOYEE: Yes.
BILL: (indicating postcard) You have postcards of “Guernice”.
MUSEUM EMPLOYEE: Of course, it is Picasso’s most famous, perhaps.
BILL: (pause) Yeah, but.
MUSEUM EMPLOYEE: Yes?
BILL: It’s not here, is it?
MUSEUM EMPLOYEE: Here?
BILL: Here, in this museum. I mean, I didn’t just walk through the whole museum and miss “Guernica”, did I?
MUSUEM EMPLOYEE: (a bit confused) No, sir. It is in Madrid.
BILL: Ah, good. I’m going there tomorrow.
MUSEUM EMPLOYEE: You can see it there, then.
BILL: Good. I just wanted to make sure, since you have the postcard, that I didn’t miss it.
MUSEUM EMPLOYEE: No, sir.
BILL: Do a lot of people worry that they’ve walked right by it?
MUSUEM EMPLOYEE: No, sir.
(Bill enters the lobby, holding a hot chocolate. He pays the MUSUEM EMPLOYEE an entrance fee, and she immediately starts pointing at his cup.)
BILL: I know, I know. (He takes a large sip.) Where can I throw it out?
MUSEUM EMPLOYEE: Que? Huh?
BILL: Garbage? Basura?
MUSUEM EMPLOYEE: (shakes her head) No.
BILL: What, then?
(The museum employee ducks down, searching for something. She emerges with a tag, used to hold bags behind the counter.
BILL: What? Really?
(The museum employee nods, giving Bill a ticket, then wrapping the matching ticket around the cup with a rubber band. The ticket # is 13. She puts the cup of hot chocolate in a locker and closes the door. She looks at Bill, then waves the back of both hands at him, as if to say, “Go. Go.”)
BILL: Okay, I’m going. I’m going. (to himself) This is my last museum of the day.
