"All the time I'm not writing I feel like a criminal." -Fran Lebowitz

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

#RogueTripPlaylette - 19.11.2014


(BILL sits talking with a Chinese WOMAN over coffee - complimentary for guests before 10am!.)
BILL: ...And what do you do?
WOMAN: (blank stare)
BILL: Uh, what is your job? Um. What do you do?
WOMAN: (blank stare)
BILL: (mutters) Crap. Um. Work? What is your work? (mimes hammering - ?!?) Work?
WOMAN: (understands) Work? (Bill nods. She stammers.) Oh, I don’t have a job.
BILL: Ha. Me neither.
WOMAN: (puzzled, stammering) You don’t have a job?
BILL: Well, I’m a writer.
WOMAN: (blank stare)
BILL: (mimes typing) Writer?
WOMAN: (blank stare)
BILL: I wrote a book. A novel. Book? Novel?
WOMAN: (blank stare)
BILL: (thinks) Hm. (realizes) Ugh. (sighs) Okay. (holds up finger) Wait.
WOMAN: Wait?
(Bill takes his laptop out of his backpack, and boots it up. He sighs. He brings up the Internet.)
WOMAN: (looking over Bill’s shoulder) Amazon?
BILL: Yeah.
(A handful of keystrokes later…Bill brings up “Amazon Author Page: William Norrett”. The woman looks, then points at the author photo.)
BILL: (wincing, nods) Me. (winces, mumbles to self) You’re an asshole, Billy…
WOMAN: (smiles) Ah!
(Smiling, the woman looks at the page for a moment, then points.)
WOMAN: What is that?
BILL: (blank stare)
(The woman begins to type something into her phone.)
WOMAN: (re: phone) Translate.
(She finishes typing, and shows her phone to Bill.)
BILL: (reading) “The Vanilla Gigolo Prescription”…
WOMAN: (blank stare at Bill)
BILL: Shit…